


But First

by Medie



Category: Flashpoint
Genre: Aftermath, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-16
Updated: 2012-02-16
Packaged: 2017-10-31 07:17:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/341388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Medie/pseuds/Medie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before Marina goes to say thank you, but after her world falls apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But First

**Author's Note:**

> Missing scene for 4.06 "a Day in the Life". got me thinking about Marina in the aftermath and this is what I got. I meant this to be a bit more shippy, but not there yet.

After, when she's home, she stands in the shower for hours. The water pressure isn't good, awful really, and she's been after the super to fix it. She has to remember to remind him later. She does. She'll make a note of it when she gets out of the shower, but right now she presses her hands to the tiled wall and closes her eyes. She has to. If she doesn't close her eyes, she has to watch the blood slowly circling down the drain.

Not that closing her eyes helps. Closing her eyes means facing it all over again. She can't do that. She can't look him in the eyes and watch him fall. Oliver's dead. Josh is dead.

Marina breathes out, feeling herself shake, and fumbles for the loofah. She just scrubs blindly at first, then opens her eyes and looks at herself. The blood is gone; most of it went with her clothes and the rest down the drain. Exhaustion settles over her, the body-wash is in front of her in the basket and she has to force herself to reach for it. It takes more effort than walking out to face Oliver and she starts laughing at how ridiculous that is. The laughter turns shrill, grating to her own ears, and Marina bites her lip to hold it back.

"Stop it," she mumbles. "You're _fine_ , you're okay. You're okay." She knows that, she does, and she knows it will take time. She has a number in her purse, a therapist recommended by the police detective who interviewed her, and she's going to call them in the morning. She is. She'll call, make an appointment, and she'll get through this. People do.

Except, right now, she isn't okay. She isn't. She sinks to the floor of her shower, presses her face to her knee, and starts to cry.

By the time she stops, the water's cold against her shoulders, and she doesn't feel better, but she's not crying. Her knees are shaking and weak, but they hold up as she opens the shower door and steps out.

She lets herself fall into the motion of getting dressed. She brushes out her hair, dries it, and makes a face at the way it curls. Her make up is standard fare and, if she doesn't think about it, then it's like any other day.

It isn't, though, and her hand shakes when she puts on the mascara. She almost gets herself in the eye and has to stop, putting the wand down for the minutes to stop the shaking. She needs to go see Sergeant Parker. She needs to thank him. She needs to thank his people for saving her life, and she will, but she needs to thank him for being there.

She doesn't want to think about today. Not ever. She wants to push it out of her mind, to forget everything, but she can't. She can't do that to Josh. She can't do that to Rose.

She can't do that to Oliver. It's a surreal thing to realize, but she can't. Whatever else happened, he's dead because of her. They shot him to save her. They shot him to save her and Oliver shot Josh to get to her.

That's hers to face. She doesn't know how, that's what the number in her purse is for, but first? First she's going to go say thank you.

Marina picks up the mascara and finishes her eyes.


End file.
